Our humble little betrothal ceremony
Over the long weekend of Malaysia Day, we did a very simple Betrothal Ceremony 过大礼.
Usually it takes place within twenty days before the marriage reception.
On this chosen auspicious day, the groom will go over to the bride's place to present the family a variety of gifts that symbolize prosperity and fertility.
It is also a time for the groom to show his sincerity towards marrying the bride.
Leon has never heard about this ceremony until I told him about it. Mainly because he was raised as a Christian and grew up in a family that is not very particular about the Chinese customary tradition.
I have heard about it but I had zero clue on what should be done.
Shortly after Leon proposed, I Googled about the ceremony and OH MY, it's very complicated.
The list of things to prepare is more than what I expected and our family is a combination of four different clans!
I got worried so I decided to speak to my parents regarding this list and see what they really want.
Much to my relief, they told me to simplify the process and take off all the meats on the list.
My mom is trying to be a vegetarian so she finds it pointless to have chicken, duck and roasted pork for the betrothal ceremony.
Since these meat symbolizes something, she came up with a very smart alternative and later in this post you will see what it is.
Due to the religious difference between two families, my parents also allow me to remove items that were required for praying -- candles, papers and all.
Done! That's it! My list is shortened and everything is easier now.
In the list, one thing that stood out from the rest -- wedding cookies.
To some clans, both bride and groom's family distribute this cookie to all family members with invitation cards. Some clans treat this as 嫁女饼 "daughter getting married cookie" (hahhaah excuse my lousy translation.) and only bride's family is distributing this.
Shortly after Leon proposed, I Googled about the ceremony and OH MY, it's very complicated.
Here are some links to webpages that explain this tradition and also list of things to prepare according to your clan in English:
The list of things to prepare is more than what I expected and our family is a combination of four different clans!
I got worried so I decided to speak to my parents regarding this list and see what they really want.
Much to my relief, they told me to simplify the process and take off all the meats on the list.
My mom is trying to be a vegetarian so she finds it pointless to have chicken, duck and roasted pork for the betrothal ceremony.
Since these meat symbolizes something, she came up with a very smart alternative and later in this post you will see what it is.
Due to the religious difference between two families, my parents also allow me to remove items that were required for praying -- candles, papers and all.
Done! That's it! My list is shortened and everything is easier now.
In the list, one thing that stood out from the rest -- wedding cookies.
To some clans, both bride and groom's family distribute this cookie to all family members with invitation cards. Some clans treat this as 嫁女饼 "daughter getting married cookie" (hahhaah excuse my lousy translation.) and only bride's family is distributing this.
I don't want something not aesthetically pleasing, not something like a very thin and flimsy box that contains two traditional cakes. So, I was thinking to get macaron or cupcakes with the design of double happiness that can be packaged nicely.
"Cupcakes?? Macaron??? Why not you try and check with Yong Sheng? Their gift boxes have always been nice and presentable!" That was my parents' reaction when I told them I was looking at Western dessert as wedding cookies.
OH YAAAAA, how come I didn't think about Yong Sheng!
I've known this brand for years because of the local bakery distributes their products.
They are a modernized bakery company from Johor that does traditional cakes - mooncakes, cny cookies, full moon gifts sets, wedding sets, anything in the range of celebration.
Their website will give you a better idea on what they offer - Yong Sheng Gift Shop
Since I want alot of boxes, I decided to give their HQ a call to check how can I buy and deliver to Kuantan.
Well, the correct way is to deliver to the groom's place and he will bring them along and send it to the bride's place on the day.
But it does not makes sense logistically since there are too many boxes.
A friendly lady picked up the call. She then followed up on Whatsapp with a catalogue with complete price list.
Under the wedding cookie, there are at least 20 choices ranging from RM12 a box to RM40 a box.
Since this gift box is meant to give to our closest family members and family friends, I went for the prettiest one. They agreed to deliver them to Kuantan for me without extra charges! Awesome!
These beautiful sets arrived Kuantan 2 days before the ceremony and my dad helped me to received because I was still in KL.
To our surprise, this box is bigger and nicer than I expected.
My parents are very satisfied. I'm glad that they love it!
Back to the replacement of roasted pigs, my mom came up with this alternative: Piglet Cookies
"Cupcakes?? Macaron??? Why not you try and check with Yong Sheng? Their gift boxes have always been nice and presentable!" That was my parents' reaction when I told them I was looking at Western dessert as wedding cookies.
OH YAAAAA, how come I didn't think about Yong Sheng!
I've known this brand for years because of the local bakery distributes their products.
They are a modernized bakery company from Johor that does traditional cakes - mooncakes, cny cookies, full moon gifts sets, wedding sets, anything in the range of celebration.
Their website will give you a better idea on what they offer - Yong Sheng Gift Shop
Since I want alot of boxes, I decided to give their HQ a call to check how can I buy and deliver to Kuantan.
Well, the correct way is to deliver to the groom's place and he will bring them along and send it to the bride's place on the day.
But it does not makes sense logistically since there are too many boxes.
A friendly lady picked up the call. She then followed up on Whatsapp with a catalogue with complete price list.
Under the wedding cookie, there are at least 20 choices ranging from RM12 a box to RM40 a box.
Since this gift box is meant to give to our closest family members and family friends, I went for the prettiest one. They agreed to deliver them to Kuantan for me without extra charges! Awesome!
These beautiful sets arrived Kuantan 2 days before the ceremony and my dad helped me to received because I was still in KL.
To our surprise, this box is bigger and nicer than I expected.
My parents are very satisfied. I'm glad that they love it!
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| This set contains a range of traditional cookies,Taiwanese pineapple cookies and French egg rolls. |
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| Piglets in the form of cake! |
Isn't it great? Nothing meaty and they look really adorable.
I've ordered cookies in the shape of chickens and ducks. Sadly it wasn't sent to my house and missed the date.
In the end, this is our humble set up:
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| Very simple set up |
After all, they're all just for symbolic purposes.
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| Beautiful tea pot sets I found on Taobao |
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| Happy Father In Law |
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| Father In Law is happy with the dowry. |
It is just a very simple thing anyway.
My personal view on this is don't force yourself to prepare the full list.
Talk to your family and your in laws about their expectations and find a balance for it.
Ignore other people's comments and suggestions.
They can say all they want but at the end of the day, you're the one involving in this.
Not them.
I'm grateful to have very understanding parents.
Do something that you feel comfortable with, find alternatives and work with it.
Here are some photos with the fam.
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| One with our baby Shiro! |
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| Over exposed |
We went around KL on the next weekend with Leon's mom to distribute to his family members.
The happiest moment is when they texted us that they think the set is beautiful and love it! Totally worth the money we spent on it.
When we're taking the photos, our cats were playing around us. Shiro happily jumped into the empty delivery box, Jolly kept jumping on the table because he wants to eat the cookies and Honey ran around to play with some paper shreds.
Gonna end this post with some cat photos.
Thanks for reading!
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| We took out the wedding gift boxes and Shiro jump in there immediately to claim her territory. |
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| Jolly has sweet tooth. He was aiming at those sweet cakes. |
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| Honey being a kitten, busy playing with paper shreds. |
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